Run For Your Lives! Congress is Back in Session

If around noon time today you suddenly inexplicably felt your throat tighten and your breathing become labored, then you are feeling the initial shocks of Congress reconvening for the 111th Session.

Our selectively intrepid legislators are returning from historic low approval ratings, exhausted from doing battle with the outgoing administration, secretly preparing for battles with a new administration (prepare to watch political cannibalism at its finest), refusing to seat an appointed Senator from Illinois, and eager to seat a questionably elected Senator from Minnesota, this promises to be the Mother of All Congresses.

Lock your doors and keep a close eye on your wallets.